My story goes back to my school years. I spent years on the math competition team, always working as hard as I could. But no matter how much effort I put in, I never achieved top results in the exams that mattered most. I was always almost there — close, but never crossing the finish line.
It wasn’t a lack of ability. It felt more like an invisible wall rising in front of me every time I got near success.
After college, I joined a small startup. The early days were rough — my team and I scrambled for ways to keep the company alive. We built new ideas, new products, anything that might work. Revenue was low, the future unclear.
But the moment I left to pursue a new opportunity, those products suddenly took off. My former teammates reaped the rewards. I didn’t.
The same pattern followed me into later jobs. I was valued at work, appreciated by colleagues, trusted by my managers — yet the most painful feeling was always this: good things arrived just a little too late, always after I had already walked away.
Eventually, I began to believe it was “destiny.” I wasn’t lazy or incompetent. So why did I always fall short at the last moment? I carried this question for years.
Everything changed when I came across an old Chinese text called “The Four Lessons of Liao-Fan.” It tells the story of Yuan Liao-Fan, a scholar who believed his entire life – success, failure, even lifespan – had already been predetermined.
I saw myself in him. Liao-Fan lived in resignation until he met a Zen master named Yun Gu, who taught him one profound lesson:
When we change our mind and our actions, we change our life.
So I decided to try. I created a simple Excel sheet with two columns: One for the things I did well each day. One for the things I didn’t. No judgment — just observation. Like a scientist studying his own mind.
I had always believed I was a good person who lived ethically and didn’t do anything “wrong.” But after just 28 days, I was stunned.
My “good” column had only a handful of entries. My “not so good” column ran endlessly.
Small things — a moment of arrogance, a burst of irritation, laziness, jealousy when someone else succeeded — these, I realized, were the real obstacles.
They explained why I never broke through in academics, why rewards at work always slipped through my fingers.
In psychology, the brain functions like a system: What you feed it is what you get back. Even the smallest negative thoughts create invisible loops.
So I started making changes:
I learned to let go of my ego.
I practiced calming my anger.
I stopped comparing myself with others.
I let go of the constant need to win.
I also began volunteering — helping orphans, supporting elderly people in difficult situations.
And very quickly, something inside me softened. I no longer cared whether I got anything in return. My only thought became: “Who can I help today?”
Then the strange things began to happen.
My career advanced.
My income grew.
Opportunities appeared naturally – right when I stopped chasing them.
More importantly, I no longer felt jealous or regretful about not receiving what others had. I felt content, peaceful, and deeply grateful in a way I had never experienced before.
And I finally understood: Maybe we all have something we call “destiny.” But destiny isn’t a contract signed between us and the universe. Destiny is the result of what we think, say, and do in every moment of every day. When we change internally, the direction of our life shifts.
I was the one writing my destiny. And I was the one who changed it.
So are you. You are not a victim of fate – you are the architect of your own life.
What seed will you plant today?
Try creating your own daily tracking sheet. Just a few days, and you might start noticing something extraordinary.Your life – you’re the one continuing the story.
